Tragic

You see, I have been busy the past weeks due to a couple of things. I have not even blogged for a week and add to that I just let my Google Adsense publisher ID banned for over a week already. I was also hoping to earn money from the Pacquiao vs Clottey fight but it ended up a total mess when Adsense banned my website, as well as, things got a lot of hectic these past weeks.

Most of my time was spent making my special plans of action (SPOA) and other election stuffs because I ran for President seat in Philippine Society of Mechanical Engineers – University of the Philippines Student Unit. At first, I was hesitant to do so as I knew I don’t stand much of a chance to two former Mechanical Engineering representatives. But my passion to serve and my (over)confidence brought me to a decision to actually run as I planned for months already. So, I submitted my candidacy form, made a plan of action I believe is sufficient enough and will for sure stand by the goals of the organization. I was scared at first, they were both experienced as council officers; I made my presence felt the whole length of my stay in the organization, enough for me to know every single detail about it. I was part of the Executive Committee the past year and I believed I have done a lot of things, which was for the betterment of the organization. With the help of members who took the initiative to lead despite their busy academics and other extra curriculars, we pulled through what we didn’t expect we would. We have done things we thought would be impossible without the people who should be doing them. But we defied all odds and under my leadership, made it work.

So I ran, even if both competitors were backed by parties. In the middle of the process, I felt alone – backing up a fight, which I did not engage for myself but for something I am passionate about. It was something I really want – something I want to stand up for until the very end. With something you are very passionate with, you can really do every possible thing to somehow make it happen. I knew I was at the tail from the start – I aced my plan of action. I made sure every person who reads it will learn from it – will get something from it. I submitted every single thing on time. I was at the meeting de avance on time. I was asked a lot of great questions and I believed I answered them very well. I felt I have stood up for myself and for what I believed even if I hadn’t won yet. But I can not control everyone’s opinion. I might be the most dedicated, most passionate and most fit for the position – but then not everyone sees that. In the end, after a magical ending to a very hearty speech, and after the grilling session – the election happened. And, I lost.

I felt hurt, yes. I believe I deserved that position – it was something I worked hard for. It was that one thing I knew I did well of – I did my best in. But it’s just not for me. I realized I can rant all day and night but I can not change anything at the moment. It is normal for me to get hurt – don’t blame me. But I know it is much important for me to move on – this time, for myself. I realized that this is a wake up call; I might have been indulging myself attending these things too much that I forgot I have my own life to live. Probably, God is telling me I need to straighten up the next year – make more friends, reunite ties and make everything in my own life, work. I saw my pictures a year ago and I was shocked to see how much stress has these things had affected me.

Looking at the brighter side of life, I can focus more on my academics. I can do more things – much efficient ones. I can enjoy my life more. It doesn’t mean that I lost, I can’t push for the changes I want for the organization. My love for the organization is undying, I realized. There might be a time I told myself I am too hurt to even go back – but I can not resist not to. This organization means so much to me. This organization is my girlfriend throughout this year. We may have undergone a lot of trials but we also had our dose of success.

In the end, I will quote Mr. Mario Buhali, “Love is not selfish.” My love for the organization continues; it may not be me the one it needs. I love it so much, I moved on and am open to share it to everyone with the same desire as mines – desire to really make it big this coming year and the more years to come.

With that, I end this chapter of my life. Hello, senior year! Here’s to hoping for more positive things to happen this coming year! I hope to enjoy every single bit of it! And come to think of it, with a lot of load unloaded, my life isn’t that tragic at all.

PS: I hope I will be able to watch more movies, series , too! I hope to write more entries and blog a lot of interesting things now that I have lots of free time. Now, check out this interesting webthesurfi rugs webdesign article about rugs and webdesign!