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You have probably heard this thing before, same old… same old. I am still listening to my favorite Typecast tracks and those soundtracks that might have had pushed me to think of her again. I thought I’d already forgotten her. But in reality, she’ll always be there. And everytime I remember an ounce of something I’d recognize or something I can identify with her, there I go again.

She’s my ecstasy. The more I want to get rid her out of my system, the more I’m drowning into it. I adore her and nothing’s gonna change that. Absolutely nothing. For four years, I still can’t recover from the thoughts of she, and I, forever. When even the conclusion of this dream will always be that I can only have her as much as my dreams would allow me to.

A lot of people say I’m not that falling-in-love guy type. I don’t care. They can judge me and tell me everything they want but who cares. And the truth is that from the moment I’d realize I love her, until now, that’s the same feeling. I know its hard to believe me, but this girl knocks me off my feet. This girl is love.

You don’t know how much reading your messages mean to me and its the only thing I’ve got and you don’t even do it anymore. Its not obligatory but I want them back. Those times that we can only talk about anything and everything about our daily lives.

I got addicted with your existence and now that you’re completely gone, I’m lost. Even my friends tell me that, I have lost myself for not doing everything I can. I have lost myself from you. I felt numb that you would not even caring to know how I feel. So I stay numb and dumb and stupid.

I just feel suicidal, but I know I can survive. [Hey, I still have to take three more years of math and physics All those engineering thingy] I’m strong and I know that this love might have to take ages to shoo away. Maybe a whole lifetime won’t even be enough to hide this feelings, and set them aside.

I’d try to focus on attaining success first now, so that when I’m all wealthy and rich. I can do all I want and give her all that she deserves.

I just love you. I know. I just do.
And it hurts not to know if you’re okay or not.

I hope he takes care of you.
–
I was born to tell you I love you, I was torn to do what I have to.
To make you mine, be with me tonight.

–

P.S. And that’s me being stupid again. And that’s me not being able to escape from her shadows. And that’s me who’s willing to live his life alone just to hold my promise that you’re the only girl I truly love. Until my dying day. And even if you wouldn’t care, at least I held on long to my promise enough to make my life worth living.

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Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They’ll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

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The hell week has officially started as I prepared for my Physics 72 exam earlier this week. What’s nice is I have already taken the exam earlier and its scrapped out of my worries.

So I only have four more exams to take until the hell week’s over. I have ES 11 on Tuesday. Exams comes in two weeks in this subject. Pretty fast, the advantage is that it’d be easier to allot time and to rethink and review since its still fresh in my memory since the last time it was lectured or this problems were solved and etc. The down low is, of the two chapters, the Friction part was so hard and probably I expect two problems in the exam coming out of it. So I really have to double my efforts.

I have this exam on ES1 on February 2 and its make or break. I have to at least pass this exam to have positive hopes in the subject. I am currently dismayed of my perf in this subject. Kinda disappointing.

My Math 55 exam will be on the sixth. I hope I’ll have enough time to solve problems. This integrals thing is driving me nuts. I am kinda lax on my standing here since I got some high scores on my quizzes and on my 1st Long Exam. By the way, I got a 32/40… too low for the exam type. But if not for that pesky Lagrange problem, I’d be higher. That’s 80% and I currently have 1.75 standing. Too good to be true. First time in my College Math history.

I have this paper for Social Sciences 2 that I’d have to pass on Monday, a newsletter to be published on Monday too. A CWTS project that’s needed to be finalized on Wednesday. Stress is the word of the week.

I shall start resting now. I desperately need it for the next couple of weeks.

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Student number?
2006-62161

College?
College of Engineering

Ano ang course mo?
BS Mechanical Engineering

Nag-shift ka ba o na-kick out?
Nope. I wanna shift but I don’t feel like shifting.

Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT? (Where did you take your entrance examination?)
Olongapo City National High School

Favorite GE (General Education) classes?
Geog1, Mr. Marino Deocariza. Hum1, Mr. Reuel Aguila. Eng 11, Ms. Isabela Mooney. Eng 1, Ms. Celeste Flores.

Favorite PE?
Scrabble. Hands Down.

Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guys/girls sa UP?
Uhm. Sa AS at sa window ng Tambayan namin [UPDOSTSA]

Favorite Professors?

Geog1, Mr. Marino Deocariza. Hum1, Mr. Reuel Aguila. Eng 11, Ms. Isabela Mooney. Eng 1, Ms. Celeste Flores. Add to that Mr. Leyson of Math 53 and Ms. Rosales of Math 17 And Ms. Jacquilyn Romero of Physics 72.

Least favorite GE (General Education) class?
As of now, Kas 1. Wala akong natutunan.

Did you sign up for Saturday classes?
Na-ah. At ayoko. Ang KJ.

Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Yep, sa Bataan. How thrilling. *sarcastic*

Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Nah. No Comment.

What Organization/Fraternity/Sorority were you a member of?
UP DOST SCHOLARS’ Association and currently an applicant of UPPSME!

Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
UPDOSTSA Tambayan, Molave Residence Hall

Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Dorm Molave. The best ang Kalay.

Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun?

I guess it’d be Computer Science, ECE or Computer Engineering. Pero siraulo ako kasi ang first choice ko ay BS Mechanical Engineering. Pwede ring Stat.

Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?

Syempre, kaklase ko nung highschool. Pero yung super stranger, si Kristan Palaganas

First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Shock Value.

Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
Casaa. dati sa Iso tambayan.

.Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP.
BA and CSSP orgs. Plus, Theater.

Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
Engg orgs, MMC, and UPDOSTSA!

May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
NO. Hmm.

Masaya ba sa UP?
Yes. And No.

Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Wala. Hindi. Haha.

Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council?
Isang beses at talo ang half of my list.

Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
Yeah. Pero wala na atang pag-asa.

Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
Flop question. Next please.

Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
Ateneo de Manila University or Polytechnic University of the Philippines.

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This was one of those days when my brain stops thinking, and is probably like the UPCAT website undergoing system maintenance.

I just don’t feel right today. I started the day right, ate our regular food here in Molave and I ate a lot. When it was time for Physics, I submitted a perfect problem set. Yes, I can manage to solve some problems naman in Physics. Then, Kayzer ( my roommate and Physics buddy ) ate our lunch, Malansang Bangus. So I bought Beef Tapa just to neutralize the taste. It just doesn’t feel satisfying. I bought a stick of banana cue and was too full to be ready for my next class.

I arrived late at ES1 and passed three of my plates, one of which should have been passed last Friday which I wasn’t able to because I forgot to. Then, when we were making the plates. Like as if I know what to do, started ahead of my ES mates. And found myself so wrong after wasting an hour and a half. But I thank my ES mates Kenneth, Ceasar and specially Pane’ coz they were able to help me when they finished theirs. So, medyo ayos naman.

ES 11 was such a bore. I can’t even read a single line of the chapter we’re discussing right now. Worst is, I need to answer 7 quessies for tomorrow and I haven’t started yet. I’m so lazy today. I haven’t been able to achieve my to-do list for today, that is to get an ID, and to write notes for my Physics and ES classes, and to answer problem set in ES 11 and to note things in PE1 and to note things in Eng 11 for the upcoming exam.

So unproductive, so lazy. I have time to relax and sleep, but still frustrated that I still need to do a lot of things.

Yea, I might as well start now.

—

Pray for my mother, she’s in pain. Pray for her, cause she needs to feel better.
I love you, Ma. And yes, if I could just take all those gall and kidney stones in a single blink of an eye, I will. But yea, only prayers can help you and of course our faith in God.

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Nice one little engineer, you have passed 2 out of your 5 exams! Wow, what an achievement.

Results of my exams were very unsatisfactory. First, my Physics 72 exam which I only got 50%, especially for a retaker, that’s a really bad score. Oh well, I have four more exams to pass para naman di kahiya-hiya no.

My ES11 exam score was 50% too. I took my 2nd Long exam yesterday and I must say I have answered only one of the three problems with utmost confidence. The other two, I was clueless. Actually, I didn’t know what to do and I just guessed and guessed.

My Math 55 exam must be the only light in this mist. Grabe! Buti na lang madali yung exam, at kayang-kaya kong maipasa.

And I don’t wanna talk about ES1. Grabe. I really need to work it out. Syeeeeeeet. Wag na ipaalala. Mabubugbog ko ang magpapaalala.

I passed my SocSci2 exams. Wala nga lang flying colors.

Anyways, I really have to study. I shall push myself to study harder! Go. Haha.

And to tell you, my exams for next week are:
January 17: Eng 11 and PE 1
January 22: Physics 72
January 29: ES 11

I need a break. Whut!?! Sana birthday gift na lang oh.

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In case you didn’t know yet, the UPCAT results were already out last January 7, a day before the Centennial kickoff and the day the worker jumped from the library.

Results though are only posted in the boards in front of the UP Office of Admissions. RSHS people, when I have the time, I’ll post the results here. Haha. Just that I am so busy this past few days!

Anyways, I hope lots of you guys passed the exam.

Welcome future schoolmates!

And yea, ACET Results are out too.

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It was just the seventh day of January and I have lots of exams to deal with, not to mention, exams and other stuffs I need to submit at the first week of this year. What a way to start it.

I didn’t have a decent Christmas break, spent nights reading English 11 readings and skimming through Social Sciences write-ups, and busy mumbling about out CWTS webpage to be published third week of the month as Geography Department kickoff for the Centennial Celeb.

To top it off, I have this Statics exam tomorrow which is really making me ecstatic. This exam is gonna be soooo hard. The easy first long exam… I flunked it and there’s a really huge chance, that tomorrow, I’d have the same fate but of course, I’ll do my best not to fail this exam.

I had my Social Science partial results earlier and it wasn’t good. It’s 70% of our grade and I got 50 out of 70. I still need 10 points to pass. In the 30% essay part, I don’t know how I fared. I just need 15 to 20 points there so I can have a decent mark… I really need to double my efforts.

I am satisfied with my Math 55, ES 1 and Eng11 standing so far… not until the results of the exams will I know that I also need some catching up though.

–

The past two days I spent lying on my bed, with alleviated body temperature, dry mouth, hoarse throat, coughing hard, sobbing harder and sneezing here and fro.

Like, days from the vacation (is it really a break?), I only had five hours of sleep. Good thing I got sick and filled lots of the time I should’ve allotted to sleeping.

Speaking of vacation, I haven’t had the chance to talk about it. It was plain. Nothing spectacular. Maybe I just got a hangover from my examinations the last week, when even in the midst of the Great Oblation Run, I have to take a Physics Summative Exam. And what a way to end my year but an exam in Mathematics which I did quite well.

Not to mention my ES 1 cluelessness has brought me at peak when I took the exam days before I leave Manila.

It sure is refreshing to go back to Olongapo. Even the two weeks were short, it was just enough to let me breathe for a while, not worrying so much about academic stuffs but still thinking of some works I need to get done with so that it’ll be less hectic when I go back.

This blog entry should have been weeks ago. I mean this part.

Well, yea. I just had the flare to burst some emotions now, so might as well I take advantage of it.

Looking back at my last posts, its all about pure entertainment Asiand Idol and PBB stuffs. I am so disappointed but I am so tired to mumble and be pissed with the output. This whole sentence is worth the attention of the show. I even had Big Night front row tickets. But yea, I got sick and I wasn’t able to really watch. So, I stayed at the dorm and just lie, sleep and eat bananas. Oooh. I love bananas.

Last Sat was Kalai’s Pasalubong Festival, it was nice. Extravagant it is. But yea, I believe ours still is better. No biasness attached.

Anyways, I just felt so away with my blog lately and that’s why now that I have the chance to update, and do something sensical, I’m writing.

So yea, I’m just giving you some things that actually is keeping me busy right now.
Ciao,ayt.

PS:

Walang gayahan. Explain first before you complain dude.
Shut up. Thanks.

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I believe that it was a very bias move for Big Brother. Jon Avila was forcibly evicted and sent packing, with his dignity.

He was just right. Votes were nullified just because of this. And yes. We spent lots to save him and just was put to waste.

Its reminds me of Bodie’s stint in PBB, where he wasn’t really the one to go. But was sacrificed for an undeserving gal there.

My final prediction?
1. Ruben
2. Gaby
3. Riza
4. Will

My wanted outcome?
1. Gaby
2. Riza
3. Will
4. Ruben

It should have been Gaby-Jon-Riza-Will/Ruben. But yea, as you know Jon was evicted. Ouch.

Good news! I’d be watching the Big Night on Sat. so yea, I hope it’d be lots of fun.

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